Cat Calling

“Nice tail toots!”
A crude cat called
As he limberly leaned back
With one paw against a wall.

“Do your whiskers match the drapes!”
He shouted before she was out of view,
Telling himself that was OK to say
Since it was just what construction cats always do.

Another lady cat soon walked by;
“Are you an angel or did I die nine times?!”
Never able to read through the lines
He was oblivious his harassment was a crime.

“Nice claws yah cute little kitty!
Can I be your scratching post?”
The calling cat said smirking
Completely unready for her riposte;

“That’s dirty and dangerous…
As my mom always said, god rest her soul,
That’s a place for patting-
You should never scratch an asshole”

The calling cat had no comeback,
He had finally been put in place,
So, the lady cat snapped a mental picture
Of the stupid look on his furry face.

“Jeez… I was just trying to be nice!
Can’t a cat take a compliment these days?!
She was planning to just ignore him,
But could no longer control the rage.

“Trying to be nice!?
Yeah, that was clearly your intent…
You have no clue where I’m heading
Or how my day has even went!

For all you know it’s been really hard
And maybe I’m even in pain.
That alone is reason enough
That your shock is fucking insane.
So, why don’t you go stand somewhere else,
I’d suggest in front of a train.
The world is hard enough without you
And you shouting shameless names.”

Silent for a second,
He responded with only a hiss,
But that was to be expected,
Most calling cats are pricks.
His break was over anyways;
They always went by too quick.
He worked with materials that match his intelligence
So it was back to stacking bricks!